Little Liar
by xdaisyx
Summary: Bella made a decision in high school that she's lived with for 5 years. Now, back in Washington, will her decisions and secrets destroy the life she's built and the lives of those dearest to her? Can she finally admit the truth to herself?
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1- Time Goes By

"It's done, over," I said, staring at my feet, not wanting to see the pained expression on his face. I instantly regretted saying those words the second they came out of my mouth, but there was no taking them back now. I knew that in the long run, this would be the right decision for the both of us; right now though, it hurt like hell. The seconds ticked by slowly, and he didn't say a word in response. A minute passed, and he still hadn't said anything. Two minutes. Three minutes... and still nothing. Breaking up wasn't supposed to be this easy, was it? Where was the yelling? The tears? "Edward, say something," I demanded. "What do you want me to say, Isabella?" He had used my real name, a name that he had never used before. It cut me deep and instantly added to the twinge of regret. I squared my shoulders, preparing myself for the screaming match that was brewing under the surface. "Anything!" "Why? You've made up your mind, and there's no changing it for you. So the way I see it is..." he ran his hands through his hair "...I have two options.

"One: I can beg and plead my case and have you still walk out on me, and me look like an utter fool. Or, two: I can respect your decision -although I strongly disagree with it -and save me the humiliation." I stood there, stunned "I... I... I-" He looked up at me, the pain written in stone across his face. "I love you, Bella. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Forever and eternity. If this is something that you want, and that will make you happy, then so be it."

I nodded, weakly. "It is." "Then promise me one thing..." His voice trailed off. "Anything." "Be safe," he whispered the words that I had heard a hundred times before. "Always." I nodded, grabbing my jacket and truck keys. "And, I can promise you this, Bella. I will always be here. So, if you ever change your mind or miss me, I will be easy to find." I took one last look at those topaz eyes that had been the subject of many a dream, almost disgraced at what I had done, and walked out. For good. In my old truck, with the engine roaring, tears trickled down my cheeks. Part of me was thankful that Edward didn't have the chance to see me like this, while the other part of me wondered _why now?_ I placed my hand protectively over my stomach, whispering quietly, "It's just us now."

**~*~ **I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing Just praying to a god that I don't believe in Cause I got time while she got freedom Cause when a heart breaks no it don't break even {{The Script, Breakeven}} **~*~**

**EPOV ** _Five years later_ The morning sun was peeking in through the curtains of my bedroom, and I groaned - it was too early to be getting up. I fought the urge to pull the covers over my head and stay in bed all day, but the reality was that I couldn't. Today - despite being just a regular Monday - was my own personal version of hell, though without the fire, brimstone, and guy with a pitchfork and pointy tail dancing around in red. Today was her birthday... Bella's birthday. September 13th. I couldn't get it out of my mind. I wondered where she was now, what she was doing with her life, and most of all, who she was living it with. So much time had passed. I was sure she had found someone that made me just a distant, blurry memory. On the other hand, in my mind, no other woman ever came close to what I'd had with Bella. Every girl I dated couldn't measure up to the standards that she had set. Her hair, her eyes, her quirky clumsiness, the smell of strawberries and freesias that lingered on her skin- all were emblazoned in my memory. In five years, I hadn't left the state of Washington, in hopes that maybe one day there would be a knock at my door and Bella would come back into my life. My world would be right again. Still, my door had been quiet for years, and I couldn't help but wonder if she would ever come. Life went on, though. I graduated college, and was now on a temporary break from getting my Master's in Family Psychology, working full time at a troubled teen placement facility. I got dressed in typical office wear of black slacks and an olive green polo, but all the while my mind was stuck in memory mode. I became engrossed in memories of a happier time, with Bella by my side. I never really knew why she wanted to end it, but I always wondered if it was something that I could have done differently. That girl was... that girl _is_ my heart and soul. My drug of choice, my own personal brand of heroin, if you will. - I walked into work and went through the ritual of greeting everyone I passed in the hallways, checking messages, and getting caught up on the pile of paperwork that seemed to grow exponentially. "E! How was your weekend?" Jasper asked, standing at the doorway to my office. The curly, blonde haired Southerner was my best friend, both inside and outside of the office. "It was amazing," I answered, a hint of sarcasm in my voice. "That great, huh?" he asked, concerned. "Yep," I muttered. We ended up inside the break room down the hall from office, drooling over the all important cup of the thick, dark liquid the company tried to pass off as coffee. "E, you have to snap out of it. It's just another day," Jasper said, stirring his coffee with one of those little stir sticks. "I can't, she was just..." I trailed off, staring helplessly at my coffee. "The one that got away, blah, blah,blah. I know, Edward; you say that every time she comes up." "What, she was." "But the thing is, she's more than likely moved on; why haven't you?" "I don't know, Jazz. No one seems to measure up to her," I answered truthfully. He shook his head. "Is it that no one actually measures up, or is it that you don't want anyone else to measure up?" I wondered vaguely if he had a point.


	2. Chapter 2

SM owns anything and everything Twilight related. I just own ... well hell... I own nothing. But let me go ahead and clear any possible confusion that may occur - I am xdaisyx on FF and daisy_belle on Twilighted. I am not in any way stealing anyone's work, I just have two different screen names. Also, expect pretty frequent updates until I reach chapter 10, then the updates will become as often as I can churn out chapters. The first few chapters are short, I am trying to push myself to write longer chapters - we'll see how that goes.

**~*~**Even now, I can feel your face Resting on my chest Wrestling for sleep And failing at it {{Dashboard Confessional, Even Now}} **~*~**

**EPOV**

I was quite proud of myself. Bella only crossed my mind about fifteen hundred times. It was a good day, by all accounts. Jasper had mentioned that he thought his girlfriend, Alice, knew somebody that would be good for me, and that he would see what he could talk her into. The thought of a blind date gave me the hibbie jibbies. I trusted those two, but meeting someone I didn't know, never even possibly heard of, just didn't sit right with me.

I packed up my messenger bag that served as my brief case, with all the extra files that needed to be looked over before the meeting in the morning, and headed out the door. If people only knew how much I hated bringing work home with me... though that's probably why I was the only one who got elected to do so.

Rain was falling as I started walking home, and like the idiot I was, I left my raincoat in my apartment, about ten minutes from where I worked. Seriously though, what person in their right mind living in Washington State leaves home without an raincoat? The idiot named Edward Masen Cullen, that's who.

_Just great._

Ten minutes later, and soaked through my clothes, I was inside my apartment. Thankful to be in a dry environment, I placed my bag on the couch and quickly made my way to the bedroom to change into some warm, dry clothes.

Beer sounded like a good way to relax after all the craziness that was work. Well, the craziness that was Jasper, anyhow. I took a long swig from the brown, long necked bottle and sat in front of my laptop, skimming over some of my personal e-mails.

A particular e-mail caught my eye: "Hey Edward" from sender . The air left my body, and time stopped. Dead.

The only C. Swan I knew that would have anything to do with the Forks Police Department was a man who I would not consider my biggest fan.

Bella's father.

_Oh shit! Getting stuck in the rain and now this! Fucking hell!_

So the question quickly became, _What in the hell is he doing e-mailing me?_ Was it something about Bella? Was it good news? Oh god, what if it was bad news?

One question quickly morphed into two, which morphed into two hundred. My mind was going about a hundred miles an hour and it needed to stop. I took another swig of my beer, in a vain attempt to calm my nerves.

I opened the e-mail and read it through two times quickly.

_Edward-_

_Hi, don't know if you use this e-mail anymore but thought I would let you know that I saw your mother in the grocery store today. She is very proud of you, I can tell. She's such a nice woman. Um, so how are you?_

_-Charlie, Bella's dad._

I rolled my eyes. He was such an awkward man, or at least he came off that way to me. Still though, seeing my mother in the local grocery store was hardly any reason to e-mail the person that dated your daughter five years ago. A person that he didn't like dating his daughter five years ago.

There had to be something more... so I hit reply.

_Mr. Swan,_

_I am okay, living outside of Seattle now, working and taking a brief break from getting my Master's. Living the bachelor life, I am sure you understand. How are you?_

_- Edward, Esme's son._

I was rather proud of myself for not asking about her. Bella. My Bella. I figured some memories were better left alone.

I started work on those blasted files that seemed to be lurking in the back of my mind, not thinking more of the e-mail between Charlie and myself.

Thirty minutes and ten files later, my computer made that dinging noise that lets the user know there's a new e-mail.

A response from Charlie and a swig from beer number 2.

_Edward-_

_Seattle, huh? Didn't you want to get out of Washington, like Bella? By the way, she's fine. But I understand the bachelor life, a little to well. I retired from the PD about a year ago, heck just makes it easier to go fishing and watch all the Mariners games._

_- Charlie_

Bella!

I nearly choked on my beer; he'd brought her up first. Was he playing a practical joke on me, because if so I wasn't laughing. I didn't know whether I should press the subject or let him bring it up slowly; I wasn't even sure if I wanted to know. Okay, so maybe I do want to know, but I wasn't going to ask.

_Charlie-_

_Fishing and Mariners games? Sounds like a nice way to retire. I thought that I would like it somewhere else, other than Washington, but this is home, you know? I'm close to mom and dad if they need me, but far enough away where they can't drop in whenever they want to. It's nice._

_-Edward_

I sent the e-mail. It was partly honest, I was close to my parents and Washington was home. The real reason I stayed, however, wasn't because of my mom, my dad, or Washington itself. I stayed because I promised Bella I would and whether she knew it or not, I intended to keep that promise.

I closed out of my e-mail; the background of my laptop became visible. A picture from my high school prom. Bella and I dancing, cheek to cheek under the stars. I don't know who took it, but I was forever in debt to that person.

I couldn't sleep. The e-mails between Charlie and I had me thinking. Thinking of a hundred and one different scenarios as to why he could want to talk with me. Not only had he e-mailed me but he had mentioned Bella. My Bella. Something was going on. Was he trying to let me know? As a head's up? Or was it more like a get out of dodge type warning?

**Chapter End Notes:**

Again, I know that it wasn't much but something is starting to brew under the surface. So review and let me know what you thought. Feedback is a major help and encourager.


	3. Chapter 3

As previously mentioned SM owns anything Twilight related. I just happen to own the David Cook cd.  
Also, thank you to everyone who has commented, favorites, reviewed thus far. Little Liar was the first story idea I have had in a few years so to see a good response from it - it warms my little Southern heart.

**~*~** When all you know seems so far away And everything is temporary Rest your head I'm permanent I'm permanent {{David Cook, Permanent}} **~*~**

**EPOV**

My alarm blared, though sadly, I was already up to hear it ring. I rolled out of bed, eyes still shut, and made my way to the shower. _A cold shower would wake me up, right? Wrong._

I wanted so badly to go back to bed, to see her in my dreams. It was just us, no time apart, no break up. Just us, still together and still in love. In my dreams, I held her and kissed her countless times, and made love to her even more.

_You have it bad, you fucking idiot. You haven't seen her in years, and she still is the subject of your dreams - pathetic!_

I dressed hurriedly in a pair of khaki pants and a button down white shirt. It was casual, yet dressy enough for the meeting I had this morning with the head of organization. Starting a day out with a meeting was a sure fire indicator of an overall boring day.

Coffee, that had to wake me up. It just had to. And not that mud the office tried to constantly pass off as coffee. They weren't fooling anyone with that shit. Real, genuine coffee would wake me up. Luckily, there was a coffee shop I passed by on my way to work. _Small favors make life worth living._

I stopped in. A handful of tables lined the walls, but not even half of them were full.

"What can I get for you this morning?" a perky blonde asked from behind the counter.

"Um, large coffee with a double shot of espresso, and a blueberry muffin."

"Rough night?" she asked again, fiddling with buttons on the cashier register before giving me my total.

I sighed and thought a moment before responding. If she only knew, but I knew I would sound like a loser if I told her I had spent the better portion of my night pining over an ex-girlfriend from high school. Jasper's words were starting to ring true; maybe I was the one that wasn't allowing anyone to measure up to Bella's standards.

"Just a long morning ahead of me. Gotta stay awake, ya know."

I paid her and stepped to the side, waiting on my order to be ready. That's when she stepped in, dressed in a pair of jeans. Her small frame was covered in a soft-looking black shirt. I couldn't help but smile. Her hair was falling around her face, but you could tell it was shoulder length. She was gorgeous, though not as gorgeous as I remembered Bella being. There again, I never thought any girl looked as good as my Bella.

By sheer luck, our orders were ready at the same time. I got mine first and made my way to the door. A push door was somewhat hard to open when you had both of your hands full, so I used my back to open the door. The more I stared, gawked really, the more I could see her resemblance to Bella, like the shape of her nose and the curve of her lips as she spoke. Everything about her screamed Bella.

It couldn't really be her, could it?

_After all these years and her sudden and yet unexplained move before graduation, she would end up back here? It didn't make any sense._

Somehow in all of this, she managed to bump into me, causing me to bite down on the lid of my coffee cup. The steam burnt my lip. She had to be Bella; no one else could be that beautiful and that clumsy, with coffee none the less.

There was no way it couldn't be her. Could it?

"Oh, I am so sorry!" she said, real sincerity in her voice.

"It's alright; no harm, no foul," I answered, still wrapped up in my internal confusion.

I was too busy trying to stop my thoughts from getting too carried away. I needed to reel myself in fast, before my thoughts exposed themselves and I made an utter fool of myself.

In the span of two minutes, or maybe less, I smelled a smell that I thought I would never smell again. Strawberries and freesias. The smell that was completely and solely Bella. My heart stopped, it was her, after all these years. She was back in Washington, again.

That's when she said it, causing me to stop dead cold in my tracks.

"Edward?"

I looked at her, confusion and shock written on my face. I knew she could see it, because I could certainly tell that it was there.

_Play stupid. Play stupid._

"Excuse me?" I asked.

_That's a good start. Attaboy,_ I mentally congratulated myself.

"Edward Cullen, is that you?"

I nodded and whispered. "Yes."

"It's me, Bella," she answered with a smile on her face.

Still following my own advice, I answered, "Bella?"

"Bella Swan," she answered, closing the gap between us in a few steps. "You look..."

"I look what?" I snapped, all the years of repressed anger now rising to the surface.

_You fucking idoit! You can't even be civil..._

"Gorgeous. Handsome," she stammered.

I smiled a weak smile, still confused as to why she would be in Seattle, of all places, and at this tiny coffee shop. Had this been what Charlie's e-mails were about? Was he trying to warn me in his own weird way that Bella was in town?

I needed to leave and head to work, but my feet were stuck. My heart was racing and my palms were sweaty.

"So, never thought that I would see you here..." she started weakly. Nervousness was getting the best of her, I could tell.

"Never left," I stated simply.

"What do you mean you never left?" she asked, her eyes searching for answers in mine.

"A promise is a promise, Bella."

"You stayed because you promised me you'd stay?" she asked, perplexed.

I nodded, my throat was suddenly dry and tight.

"What about all the other stuff you told me?" she asked, taking another step toward me.

"What about it?"

"Is all of that still true?"

I stood there for a moment, debating on whether or not I should put myself out there so soon.

"Yes."

She stood in front of me, clearly dumbfounded at the three letter word I had just uttered. I needed to get out of there, and fast. I knew that if I went to the meeting at work, I wouldn't be able to pay attention to what was being said. If I went home, I ran the risk of getting yelled at by my boss when I returned.

"Ed-"

I cut her off. "Look, Bella, it was nice to see you. Truly. But I have to run."

_Jackass. Tell her! Tell her the truth! Tell her you still love her! Do it!_

"Oh, I... uh... sorry I kept you then."

"It's alright. I'm glad I could see you again."

_Even if it does rip a whole in my heart... again._

She offered a small smile. "Well, hopefully I'll see you around. I'm moving back to the area."

"Maybe," I said, waving and heading back to my apartment. I knew I was probably going to get into a lot of trouble with work tomorrow, but right then - that was the last thing on my mind.

Inside my apartment, I threw my messenger back down on the sofa and mentally kicked myself.

My laptop sat on the coffee table, that damn picture calling to me like a light in the night. I closed my eyes and let the memories wash over me. Prom was amazing, but it was prom night that I cherished most.

_Ugh, can I not get away from her for two seconds?_

There was an email on my screen. It was from Charlie, only having been sent a few minutes before I walked in:

_Edward-_

_I know you're at work, probably. Can't say I'm jealous. Thought that I would... let you know... well, I don't know. How's the weather? Ha ha ha - it's raining, isn't it?_

_-Charlie_

_What the fuck old man?_

There was something that was going on, and I wasn't in on the joke. I didn't like that feeling, so I emailed him back.

_Charlie-_

_It isn't raining... yet. Got caught in it yesterday though. Oh, you'll never guess who I ran into today._

_-Edward_

It was a simple email, consisting of only a few sentences, but I was fairly certain my point would come across crystal clear.

Almost instantly, I had a one worded reply.

_Shit!_

He knew! He fucking knew that she was back!

**BPOV**

It was strange to see Edward at the coffee shop earlier. Not a bad strange, but a good strange. The strange where I felt all warm and fuzzy and complete on the inside.

_Hell, who am I kidding? I know I still love him; there just isn't anything that I can do about it now. _God forbid if he knew...

"Mommy, can we play Camylan?" my daughter, Nessie, asked, pulling at my pant leg.

"Not right now. Go play with your Barbies, and once Mommy is finished here, we can play," I responded sweetly.

"Okay. Will you do the Barbies' hair too?" She looked up at me with those big, bright, topaz-colored eyes.

I melted and reluctantly said, "If you're a good girl."

She was definitely her father's daughter.

Yet, she was also the first in a series of lies. Lies that stared me in the face every day and were the reason I broke it off with Edward. Out of fear. Out of wanting something better for him. I regretted it on a daily basis, but I couldn't tell a soul. It was my cross to carry and mine alone.

Life went on for he and I both. My life was nothing short of bittersweet. Bitter because I was trapped in a one sided marriage to a man that worshipped the ground Nessie and I walked on, and yet I couldn't love him, or at least not the way he loved me.

Don't get me wrong, I had tried and tried, but I just couldn't. Sweet because, well, she was in the other room playing with her Barbie dolls. And Nessie was the only constant reminder of the time I had spent with the one true love of my life.

I stared at the screen, debating internally whether or not I should send an e-mail. I didn't even know if he still used that email address. After all, he had had it in high school. It went without saying I was rather proud of myself for remembering it, though.

_Edward-_

_Hi. Didn't think that I would run into you, again. But it was nice to see you after all these years. I would love a chance to catch up._

_Your Bella-bell._

I enclosed my phone number for good measure and sent it. Now the only thing that I could do was to wait on a reply that I wasn't sure was going to show, and debate on how and what to tell him. I knew he had questions, and I was the only one who had the answers.

Was I ready to admit everything?

He had a right to know. Telling him, however, would more than likely disrupt my family life and the stability that Jacob and I had worked so hard to establish for Nessie.

I closed the internet server, trying not to think of the email and the hundred and one ways it could go. I had reached out; it was up to him to respond.

"Mommy, I got 'da Barbies out! Daddy won't play wif me. He says it to girlie for 'im." My daughter's sweet voice called from the living room.

"Well, me and you can play then!" I called back, taking one last look at the background on my laptop.

It was a picture of Edward and myself standing out in front of our high school sign flanked by his brother, Emmett, and his high school sweetheart, Rosalie.

I knew that I had done a horrible thing, I was aware of it everyday. So why now was it starting to rear its ugly head again?

End Notes:

Lemme know what you think. Be expecting fairly regular updates until Chapter 10.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: Just thought that I would remind the readers that SM owns everything belonging to Twilight. I, xdaisyx/daisy_belle, own the original plot for Little Liar and the Maroon 5 cd.  
Other than, check out my other story (if you haven't already) - it needs some loving as well. And honestly, I am more vested in that one. Not that I don't love this one as well -

Anyways...let's see what's going on in Bella's head...

* * *

**~*~  
**"From the moment the lights went off,  
Everything had changed,  
Lie awake in an empty room.  
In my head, it all feels the same.  
Like the taste of the day you left that still longers on  
my breath." {Back at Your Door, Maroon 5}  
**~*~**

**BPOV  
**

Three something in the morning, and I was awake. Wide awake. _Argh_. Everyone else was asleep and probably having the sweet dreams that had eluded me for some time.

This was how I spent most of my nights: random moments of sleep followed by long periods of being awake. I knew what it was... it was the guilt and the shame that I carried with me on a daily basis.

Jacob was next to me, snoring loudly. I hated what I was doing to him, but in a way, I was powerless to stop it. Misery loves company, after all.

Jake and I had met at the bookstore in my neighborhood back in Portland just about a year after Nessie was born. Tan skin; deep, dark eyes that a girl could lose herself in; dark hair that fell down around his jawline. A sure smile accompanied his demeanor. I'll admit, I was smitten, and I knew why. Jacob was Edward's polar opposite in every way.

Once Jake met Nessie, he was taken with her. From that day on, even though he knew that she wasn't his, he treated her and raised her as such. I couldn't ask for more - or at least I thought I couldn't.

"Sometimes, Bells, you have to love what's good for you," Charlie told me after I mentioned to him that Jake brought up the idea of marriage.

He had a point; Jacob was good for me and for Nessie. However, I wasn't in love with him, and I knew that I would never be, simply because my heart would remain elsewhere. Reluctantly, I agreed to marry him two years ago. Since then, I had tried to fall in love with him and be the wife that he deserved, but I just couldn't. None of this was fair to him... or me.

I rolled over onto my side for probably the hundredth time that night. I had been a distant shell since returning from the coffee shop where I literally ran into Edward. My mind had been in overdrive, I didn't touch any food that day. I didn't talk to anyone unless I had to.

When Nessie and I played Barbies this afternoon, I felt the bile in my stomach start to rise. I was looking at Edward. She had his eyes, his auburn hair, and damn it, she had that sly smile of his - and she knew how to use it. The bad thing with her smile was that it only worked on me, and not Jacob. She'd flash me that smile, and I would instantly cave.

Edward had grown into himself, that was for sure. His chiseled features were more noticeable. His hair was still the same shade and just as unruly. His eyes still drew me in like a beacon in the night. His voice still had that smooth, raspy quality that made my knees shake.

_Damn him for being so handsome and breath taking. Damn me for letting him get to me the way he does without even trying. Double damn me for breaking his heart the way I had._

Regardless, it was my decision, and I knew that I would have to live with the consequences. I had pushed the guilt aside, and up until today, I could function as though nothing was wrong. It was just that today, I had seen him, and the instant he turned to walk away, the guilt came roaring back like a tidal wave.

A silent tear fell down my face. This wasn't the first time I had cried over Edward, and I was pretty sure that it wouldn't be the last.

I closed my eyes and tried to get some more sleep, if only just a few minutes. The blackness slowly crept in, and the last thing that ran through my mind was Edward's voice.

"I love you, Bella. Today. Yesterday. Tomorrow. Forever and eternity."

I felt a gentle touch on my shoulder, urging me to wake up. "Wake up, Hun. Wake up."

It was Jacob. I groaned, silently cursing the fact that it wasn't Edward.

_What would it be like to wake up to him every morning? Would we fall asleep in each other's arms completely spent after a night of making love?_

I shook my head, dismissing the thoughts before they could get anymore detailed and wishful. The last thing I needed was to walk around sexually pining over a man that was no longer mine. I had my family and a good man to love me, so why couldn't I be happy?

"Morning," I grumbled, rubbing my eyes with the heel of my hands.

"Morning, sunshine." Jake grinned before pressing his lips to my forehead in a chaste kiss.

I finally got up and made my way to the shower. I washed slowly, trying to regain my missing facade. I had to put on a brave face no matter how bad I was crumbling inside.

After dressing in a pair of denim capris and a t-shirt, I went down to the kitchen. Jacob was sitting at the table, looking over the newspaper, and Nessie was sitting across from him, crayon in hand.

"Look at my pitchure, mommy. It pretty?"

"Very pretty, just like you, Nessie," I greeted her, wrapping my arm around her shoulder and placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Bella, honey, I think I hear your phone." Jacob broke the growing silence, glancing up at me.

My heart sped up before it dropped to my stomach. _Could it be him? Would he really call?_

"Hello?" I answered tentatively, after glancing at the unfamilar number on the screen.

"Bella?"

__

Oh God! Oh my God! Oh my fucking God!

I would recognize that silky voice anywhere... it was Edward. He had gotten my email and was now calling me.

__

Breathe Bella, breathe.

"This is Bella, yes," I answered somewhat professionally, making my way to the other room so that Jacob couldn't over hear.

"Hey, it's Edward."

"Oh hi, how are you?"

"I'm good, just at work. How are you?"

"I'm good," I replied with a shaky voice.

"The reason I called - well - I was wondering what you were, um, doing for lunch this afternoon?"

This was the point where if I wasn't a grown adult, I would have been jumping up and down screaming at the top of my lungs. Edward Cullen, my high school sweetheart, was on my phone asking me on a lunch date.

"I don't think that I have anything planned."

"Would you like to maybe have lunch with me, say around one o'clock?"

"That actually sounds like fun. Where should I meet you?" I couldn't help but smile.

"I'm assuming that you're staying in the area, correct?"

"Yeah. 1202 Millsap."

"Oh, okay. How about Logan's? It's deli. Maybe we could get a sandwich to go and head to the park? The rain is supposed to hold out."

"I'd like that. Just make sure you send me directions."

"I'll do that."

"Okay."

"Oh, and Bella?"

"Yeah?"

"It was nice to see you yesterday." I could hear a smile in his voice. A sudden surge of hope went through me.

Why was I happy that he was smiling because of me? _I'm married, unhappily married, but married._

"You too."

The phone went dead without so much as a goodbye. I stared at the phone, dumbfounded. I had a lunch date with Edward Cullen in three and a half hours. The only problem was coming up with something to tell Jacob, because I was sure admitting to my husband that I had a lunch date with my high school sweetheart, the father of my child, would go over like a lead balloon in a wind storm.

**EPOV**

I stared at that one worded email for hours, probably. Charlie had started emailing me out of the blue... and then Bella shows up, out of the blue. There was something a little off about all this. Right then, I just wasn't going to press because the bottom line was that after all these years and countless wishes, Bella was back.

I had to show her that I still loved her and wanted to be with her. The past, well, it was just that - the past. I was ready to move on as long as moving on included her.

Night came too slowly for me. All I wanted was to fall asleep so that I could see her... her hair and the way it danced in the slight wind from today. To hear the sweet tone of her voice as she spoke my name.

"G'night Bella," I mummured from behind heavy eyes.

When my alarm sounded at six forty-five the next morning, I awoke feeling strangely chipper. I showered and dressed for work, grabbing my messenger bag, an apple, and a bottle of water from the kitchen, and made my way to work. Nothing could bring me down. Or at least right then it couldn't.

"Edward, man, David wants to see you," Jasper alerted me when I passed by his office on the way to mine.

David Atkinson was the man in charge of the whole operation that was Seattle Teen Home. He was my boss. I didn't have a doubt that this was because of my absence from yesterday. I would just have to fib my way out of it.

__

What's a good story... Death in the family? Sick? Speeding ticket?

I knocked on the door. "Come in."

I walked in. The room was silent, and I could hear the rushing of my blood in my ears. I was nervous, and I had a right to be; after all this could have been the end of my job.

"Ah, Mr. Cullen." My boss acknowledged my presence.

I nodded and took a seat in the leather seat positioned directly across from him.

"Let's cut to the chase, Edward. Where were you yesterday?" He eyed me, folding his hands on his desk top.

I swallowed hard. "I had a family matter come up that demanded my attention," I lied, hoping that he wouldn't press the issue.

"Why didn't you let anyone know that you wouldn't be able to come in yesterday morning?"

__

Shit. Damn. CRAP! Think, Edward, think.

"I was in the hospital all day, yesterday. I apologize. I know that I should have gotten in touch with someone, but my attention was somewhere else." I hung my head, praying that he would fall for my act.

"I understand, and I know that you are a valuable asset here. I just want to remind you that you need to be aware of the attendance policy, and that if you are going to be absent from work, you are responsible for notifying someone."

I nodded weakly. "Yes sir, Mr. Atkinson. Is that all you needed to see me about? I have a lot of paperwork I need to get started on."

"Paperwork isn't going to do itself, so I guess we are done here." He smiled slightly, indicating that I wasn't in any trouble at all.

I walked back to my office, only to see Jasper propped up against my door frame. I hadn't been in the office for very long, and already I was having a nice little chit chat with everyone. _Ugh._

I ran my hand through my hair. "I'm guessing you wanna know what David wanted, don't you?"

"What gave you that idea, _Eddie boy_?" He smiled, a sign that I was indeed right.

"Long story, _Jazzy_, long story. A story which happens to include the infamous Bella. A story that I don't have to go into right now."

He stood still, his mouth opened in slow motion, and his eyes turned into saucers.

I closed my door with Jasper still standing on the other side; I had to get to work if I wanted to be able to get out of here for lunch.

Around ten, I picked up the phone to call Bella. To say that I was nervous was an understatement. After two rings, her voice greeted me, and I couldn't help but smile. Ten minutes later, she had agreed to meet me for lunch.

Now, that I had something to look forward to at lunch, I threw myself into sorting out my paperwork and making several calls. As the time inched ever closer, I noticed that I was becoming more and more impatient and nervous. If she only knew that she had me wrapped around her little finger. Well, maybe not; that would be rather dangerous.

I wrapped up work for lunch fifteen minutes early. I sent Bella a text with the directions to the deli where we had planned to meet. I only hoped that she would be okay with what I had planned, and if not, she could at least be a good sport about it.

__

Right?

I got into my car while a goofy grin overtook my face at the very idea of being able to see her again.

I couldn't be falling for her again, could I? I mean I didn't even know if she was single. I could only wish and pray; after all, my wishes and prayers have been answered before.


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Oh, look another update? You guys love me right? Well...at least I hope you do. But in case you were wondering, for the time being, this story is further ahead over at Twilighted. In case you hate cliffies or whatever.  
Also, I am still on the hunt for a beta. I'm highly thinking about once I get caught up with posting here, I will probably give up writing until a beta can be found. But who knows...  
The lyrics, in case you are wondering, come from artists or songs that have helped either develop the chapter or that I love in general. A run down, C1's lyrics inspired the story. C2's lyrics helped with writer's block. C3's lyrics are there because I like David Cook. C4's lyrics are a shout out to my bestie who helped with that chapter. C5's lyrics are here because Kate Voegele is awesome in concert...

SM owns Twilight, not me.

* * *

**~*~  
**In an ordinary fairy tale land  
There's a promise of a perfect happy end  
And I imagine having just short of that  
Is better than nothing {{ Kate Voegele, Forever and Almost Always}}  
**~*~**

**BPOV**

I was sure that I stared at my phone for about the first twenty minutes after Edward ended the call. Stunned. Excited. Nervous.

"Bella, honey, everything okay?" Jacob came over and rubbed my shoulders.

"Yeah. We don't have anything planned for this afternoon, do we?" I looked up through my bangs, nervously chewing on my lip.

"Nothing major. I have to run to the bank and finish signing some paperwork about the loan. Why?"

"Well, that was an old friend on the phone." I nodded in the direction of the phone. "Turns out they want to get together for lunch this afternoon, at one."

He smirked. "Go, honey. You deserve a girl's afternoon. Me and Nessie will be fine; I promise."

If he only knew that this wasn't a girls' day...

"Thank you, Jake." I smiled. Technically, I hadn't lied... had I? Oh well.

I ran back to my bedroom and started doing a dance that was a cross between the Funky Chicken and running in place. Damn, Bella, five much?

I took a minute to contain myself, inhaling and exhaling slowly. I had to figure out something to wear, because there was no way that I could let Edward see me like this. All I knew was that we were heading to a deli, and then to a park. Casual. Also, judging by the way Edward was dressed yesterday - dressy casual was probably best.

So what to wear...what to wear? Instead of over thinking it at the moment, I jumped in the shower. The feel of the water against my skin relaxed me. I made sure I had shaved and washed with the strawberry scented body wash that I had been using for years. Hopefully, he still liked that smell.

I let my hair air dry, knowing that it would dry slightly curly. I had to get dressed. After huffing and puffing, accompanied with the occasional pout, I finally settled on an outfit that included my favorite pair of jeans. If jeans were too casual, well, that was too bad because I happened to like the way my ass looked in these; yep, I was wearing those jeans.

Hair, make-up, and clothes. Once I was ready, I grabbed my keys and purse and headed out the door. I briefly heard Nessie yelling for me to have fun before I closed the door and took off my wedding ring.

Edward's directions were simple to follow; it only took me about twenty minutes to find the place. Logan's was a small sidewalk deli that looked relatively new. It wasn't the deli that caught my attention and made me hold my breath; no, it was the man standing off to the side.

Edward.

He was dressed in a button down shirt, with the sleeves shoved up past his elbows and a pair of slacks. He was the epitome of sex. My mouth started to water.

_Oh yes, please!_

I parked the car and silently told myself to act normal. It was only a lunch date; it wasn't like I wanted to sleep with the man. Okay, so maybe I did... was that wrong?

"Hi Bella." He walked toward me, licking his lips. _Oh god, that tongue..._

I bit my lip. "Hi." _Real intelligent, Bella._

He placed his hand on the small of my back and guided us into the restaurant, even managing to hold the door open for me. Inside, we stood side by side looking over the menu. Everything looked tempting, but nothing was more tempting than the smell of the man beside me... expect for maybe the man himself.

_Get a hold of yourself! You're married with a kid!_

"Bella," he whispered near my ear. "Do you see anything you'd like?"

A loaded question. I knew that he was asking for my order, but what I really wanted, more than food, was him.

"I... um... the grilled turkey sounds good," I managed to answer. He nodded and placed our orders.

I stood behind him, openly staring at his ass. Could I imagine what it would look like in a pair of jeans... or nothing?

Images from long ago flooded my mind, images from the first time I had seen him naked. I remembered the freckle that was on his back, right below his waist line. The tiny scar on his chest from an accident he had when he was little. Mostly, I remembered the way his skin felt - perfect. Perfect underneath my own. Perfect underneath my fingertips. Perfect. Like him.

I coughed, getting choked up on the visual, but who could blame me? This man was oozing sex appeal.

"You alright?" he asked, wrapping his arm around my shoulders.

"Just a tickle," I lied.

The feel of his arm draped around me allowed the gravity of the situation to set in. If Jacob caught us together - he would immediately jump to conclusions. Although in this case the conclusions would more than likely be right, that didn't mean I wanted Jacob to find us. Those judgements would ultimately only lead to Edward being beaten within an inch of his life, and me being served with divorce papers.

We grabbed our order and quickly decided that I would follow him to the park, so that after lunch, Edward could head straight back to work. A short time later, we were strolling in the park looking for a picnic table to sit at. He pointed out one that was placed under a large oak tree and slightly out of view from the walk path; I nodded in agreement and followed him over.

The first few minutes passed in silence, both of us enjoying our sandwiches. He was sitting across from me, and I was too aware of the fact that underneath the table, he had stretched his legs out so much so that they were brushing against my own.

"So, Mr. Bigshot, what have you been up to?" I grinned, leaning in towards him slightly.

"Hmm. It's all boring if you ask me." He leaned in closer to me. "Why Bella, is this your attempt at flirting with me?"

I swallowed hard. "I did ask you, and Edward, you aren't going to change the subject."

"Fine," he relented. "Graduated college magna cum laude in Psychology. Now, I'm taking a break from getting my Master's in Family Psychology. I work at the Seattle Teen Home... well, more like slave away at the Seattle Teen Home. So exciting, I know."

"Seattle Teen Home?" I questioned. "What do you do there?"

"Sit behind a desk, buried in paperwork... not really." He smiled, letting me know that he was joking. "Everyone that works there is assigned a youth. Once you have your youth, you begin to determine what would be the best course of action to keep them on the right side of the law. Most the time, the kids have been in and out of juvenile hall so many times the janitor knows them by name. Sometimes, the kids get sent back to juvenile, but most of the time, we send them to teen homes that are geared to help them become law abiding citizens again.

"Nothing special."

"Edward, are you kidding me? That is something special. You are making a difference in these kids' lives!" I tried to reassure him.

"Yeah, you're right. So what are you doing nowadays? You said that you were just now moving back?"

_Oh shit... what to tell him? What to tell him...?_

"Yeah, I'm moving back to Seattle from Portland. I loved Washington, and felt like it was time to come back."

"Portland, huh? Not a big stretch from Seattle."

"Yeah, but my heart has always been in Washington." I smiled, looking him in the eye, praying that he would understand what I was subtly telling him.

"Mine hasn't," he responded quietly.

My heart stopped beating; I knew what he was referring to... me. I had moved back to Phoenix shortly before graduation without letting him or anyone know. I just disappeared.

I sat down beside him and laid my head on his shoulder. It was a dangerous move should anyone see us, but I didn't care. Being with Edward was easy, natural. It was where I belonged.

"I'm sorry," I said in a voice I didn't recognize.

"You left and didn't tell anyone. I know we were through, but still -"

"I know, I know. I'm sorry, and believe me when I tell you - it hurt me as well... leaving you."

He turned to face me, the pain and confusion in his eyes. Guilt churned in my stomach, and my throat went dry. It was clear, that like me, Edward was constantly living with the heart break that I had caused. He slowly brought his hand up to cup the side of my face, our lips were mere inches apart.

_You're married, Bella._

"I never got over you, Bella. I thought I could, but I couldn't. I just couldn't." He looked up at me; his emotions had gone from heartbroken to completely shattered in seconds.

"Would it be fair to say that I never got over you either?" I admitted. "I never really wanted to."

He smiled as his thumb made gentle passes against my cheek. Every cell in my mind was screaming how wrong it was to be with him like this, admitting the few truths I had left. At the same time, though, every cell in my heart was screaming for me to follow it.

Then in the time it took for me to blink, I felt it. He had pressed his lips to the corner of my mouth in an innocent kiss and was beginning to pull away.

"I'm sorry..." he trailed off, in addition to scooting away from me.

"Sorry for what?" I asked, feeling my heart break.

"For that!" He sounded mad.

"For what? A simple something that resembled a grade school kiss?"

"It may have resembled that, but to me it was a lot more than that. I just don't want to lead you on... or be led on, for that matter!"

_Lie, Bella, lie!_

"I'm not going to lead you on! I don't mind that you kissed me."

"Oh, so you don't mind? Don't you see? I want you to want me to kiss you."

_Don't even think about it!_

He continued, "Ever since I saw you yesterday, I haven't been able to wipe this stupid ass smirk off my face. I even murmured you a 'good night' last night before I fell asleep. You have this-"

He stopped.

I leaned in closer to him. "I have this what, Edward? Tell me." I placed my hand on his thigh, offering encouragement.

"This pull on me. I can't shake it. The more I feel it, the more I need it."

I looked at him, he looked at me. Nothing was said. His breath was falling on my face, tickling my senses. Slowly, ever so slowly, we brought our lips closer together.

The minute our lips touched, I could have sworn I felt the earth shift under us. I closed my eyes and relished the feeling; it was like coming home. His tongue met mine, and it was like we had never parted. There was a sense of familarity between us and our bodies. However, the kiss wasn't at all demanding, it was sweet, gentle.

His hands cupped the sides of my face, while mine wound themselves around his waist, trying desperately to deepen the kiss. As he pulled away, he captured my bottom lip and tugged at it gently, causing a whimper to fall from my lips.

Neither of us said anything immediately after, afraid somehow it would ruin the moment.

_Well, Bella, you might as well be signing those divorce papers!_ There wasn't anything I could say to Edward right then; my mind was racing in every direction possible, and my heart, it was just racing.

The date was coming to a close. I sat in Edward's car, silent. I was happy, but why didn't I feel happy? He pulled into the empty space next to my car and helped me out of the passenger side.

"I enjoyed it." He pulled me close to him, my forehead automatically pressing itself against his chin.

"I did too." It was the truth.

"Call me tonight?" he asked.

I nodded, already scheming on how to get away from Jacob and Nessie long enough to do just that.

He placed a kiss on the tip of my nose before opening the driver side door of my car. I got in, silently cursing the gods that be for bringing all of this to an end.

"Bye, Bella," he said, his voice smoother than it usually was.

"Bye, Edward." I forced a weak smile as I watched him make his way back to his car.

_Oh, you really fucked it up big time, Swan!_

After I saw Edward's car leave the parking lot, I pulled out my cell phone and dialed the number from which he had called earlier.

"Hey, Edward. It's Bella. I just wanted to remind you that I am thinking about you and that I had a wonderful time today, even with all the harder topics. Send me a text with your cell number, or just call me from it, because all I have is your work number, Mr. Bigshot." I giggled at the end of the voice mail I was leaving him.

I drove back to my house, slower this time. Could I be in any kind of a hurry? I needed time to switch gears, mentally and emotionally. I slid my wedding ring back onto the proper finger; it felt like lead, weighing my entire hand down.

Nessie was outside playing with her jump rope, and Jacob was sitting on the step as I put my car in park.

"Mommy! Mommy! Did you have fun on your girl day?" Nessie came running toward me the second I opened the door.

I swooped her up, pressing her close to my chest. "I did. Did you have fun today?"

She nodded. "When will I be old enough to have a girl day, Mommy?"

"I don't know, baby," I joked. placing my daughter back on her feet.

I walked up the steps, fiddling inside my purse so that I could avoid direct eye contact with Jacob.

"Welcome home, honey," he spoke up as I passed him and went in the house.

If he only knew what had happened today, he wouldn't be so chipper. I was slowly destroying the family that he and I worked so hard to create, and I didn't know whether that was a good thing or not.

I threw myself onto the bed, tears streaming down my face. I was torn in two different directions. I could follow my heart and be with Edward but wreck the family I had. Or, I could follow my head and keep my happy home but deny myself the chance at an undeniable love that most would be envious of.

"Agh!" I screamed into the pillow.

In life, there was no _Easy_ button, no matter how much Staples tried to pretend there was. There wasn't a clear cut answer. Nothing. Making the decision more difficult was the fact that someone was going to be hurt. One was the man that loved me and my daughter unconditionally, and the other was the man that I loved unconditionally. Who would win, because either way, I would loose... something.

_Where's a damned 'Easy' button or one of those eight balls when a girl really needs one?_

I mentally scolded myself for entertaining the idea of tackling him and kissing him with all the passion and desire that was pent up within me. My heart did flip flops in my chest, my mind shut down.

* * *

A/N: So there you have it. I gave you two chapters in a day. :) So what can you give me? Simple...a review. Let me know what you think, maybe possibly even suggest songs for other chapters. Who knows...I am open to suggestions.


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